One week from today:)

So I figured I should write once more before I leave...also I think we might all look back at this entry for some perspective later on, I have a feeling it's going to be interesting.

The emotions washing over me are overwhelming...everything from 1) sadness to leave my fiance, family and friends for 4 months... 2) panicking that I'm not prepared enough (emotionally, linguistically, etc) 3) worrying that I might not even get along with anyone in the MSID program (like what happened when I went to Ecuador...not being able to connect to people about what I'm experiencing), 4) panicking about not being able to handle the less delicate aspects of life in Senegal (aka pooping in a hole in the ground, cold-water bucket showers)....
As well as several really ridiculous fears - I acknowledge this - that I am trying to overcome: 5) the fear that the plane might crash and I will never get there in the first place 6) I might get raped or 5)mugged or 6) lost or 7) that I might die from a rare African disease.

This last bit is something I always do before I travel. I conjure up the worst idea I can think of about what could happen to me, and I obsess about it. For example, before going to Ecuador last year, my Dad told me about an article he had read, only a few days before I had to leave; about a Peace Corps worker who had tripped on a riffle trigger while hiking in the jungle in Ecuador and had both her legs blown off. She died on the way to the hospital. What an awesome story, huh Dad? Knowing I had to face similar wilderness and unknown territories, I began to panic before I left...what if something happened to me out there, in the middle of nowhere? What if I never came home? My friend didn't help by telling me that her Dad, who travels for business all the time, said that South America has the highest rate of kidnappings in the world - especially Americans.

So let me explain this fear that I'm going to die from a tropical disease. A friend of mine who spent a year in Senegal told me that during his time there, a girl he knew was traveling to Mali with some friends. En route on their sept-place (an open flatbed truck for 7 people), she began to complain of a headache. She then fell asleep, and her friends did not awake her, thinking sleep would be good to make her feel better. Unfortunately, the girl never woke up...and being in the middle of nowhere with no access to hospitals certainly didn't improve her chances. He said he didn't know what she died from...it was probably some unknown African disease.

Something in my rational cranial hemisphere says, "Dammit, calm down." My friend did admit that this girl wasn't being smart about her health, in the weeks prior to her death. She wasn't drinking enough water, she was staying out in the sun too long and hadn't had much rest. These factors along can make someone more susceptible to the wide range of unknown foreign illness. I know that this was a rare case, and as long as I follow the rules of travel (food and water-wise), get plenty of rest, and don't take stupid chances...I will be fine.

Also, I fully acknowledge the necessary element of understanding the potential dangers. Learning from other people's unfortunate mistakes will ultimately make the rest of us better travelers.

I also would like to remind myself, in light of my ridiculous fears, of the inordinate amount of biased media toward developing countries, especially those in Africa. They are portrayed as land mines of violence and brutality, danger around every corner; that travel there is near-suicide. You all would be surprised how many blank stares and/or horrified expressions, nearly always followed by a comment of concern, "Why would you want to go there?" You can almost see the screenplay in their heads of 'Africa'....malnourished babies...AIDS...man-eating lions...desert...Blood Diamond/Hotel Rwanda...insurgents killing innocent civilians...corrupt governments...danger...danger... Perhaps these fears have burrowed deep into me as well, on a subconscious level - which is why I find myself struggling with the aspect of putting myself there in the flesh.

Even though I can justify to myself that these comments are simply rooted in lack of exposure to places like Senegal, and holes in our Euro-centric education system...this still doesn't prevent me from asking myself the question - "Why AM I going there?" I light of all my fears and trepidations, why am I not content to simply study Senegal - or any other "dangerous" place - in the comfort of my apartment? What is the advantage to igniting all these fears, and overcoming them?

And therein lies the answer. It is not only imperative for me as a human being, to broaden my cultural horizons (and other such B.S.), to expand my understanding of the world and its peoples, to further explore myself from the inside out (my adaptability, my ability to overcome challenges, risks and situations outside my comfort zone) --- but also to bring my experiences back home. To educate those who are horrified for my sake, who can't understand why anyone would travel to such a god-forsaken place.

The one thing I do have, is the ability to counter my unfounded fears based on a biased media - with my own level of knowledge. I feel I have adequately studied Africa, and Senegal in particular - it's history, politics, social movements, economics, etc - enough to know the root of the problems that do exist, and to rationalize and conceive of the true situation there. Through the courses I have taken, and the local Congolese immigrants I have interacted with through our student-run group, the Francophone Community Partnership, at school - I feel I can reason with myself past these fears. I know better. Africa is not the wild, unbridled, anarchic place of destruction that the media would have us believe. My experience with Africa and Africans leads me to believe these things:

• Yes, there is political corruption which robs people of some of their basic rights. This problem exists almost across the continent. However, the extent to which this is a problem varies from country to country. The DRC, as the Congolese tell me, is MUCH worse than most of Africa. Senegal happens to be one of the leading role models in the effectiveness of fair democracy and human rights in Africa. Senegal has had no violence related to the discontent of its leaders - or violence at all. The only violence that has occurred in Senegal were demonstrations last year due to the spike in staple food prices - as has happened all over the world. And if you still question the safety of a country which I've admitted deals with corruption on some concealed level -- perhaps we should also question the extent to which our own governments, and those of other developed countries, operate with some degree of corruption (Rod Blagojevich anyone?)
• And on a more positive note:

1. Africans love to party. This seems to a universal theme I have come across. Their partying abilities put ours to shame, so I must expect this. Partying with the Congolese has left us, the Americans, dog-tired and finished at 1 or 2 in the morning - leaving the Congolese to party until the sun came up.
   
2. The music is amazing...I am addicted now, especially to soukous/zouka music, as well as a variety of other African genres. I love Ghanaian music, as well as Congolese. African dancing is fun and group-inclusive - and they won't take no for an answer, if you're shy.
   
3. The food is interesting to say the least. I can't rave about all of it...some of the Congolese food I've had was disgusting. But I CAN say that I tried all of it, and I am really excited about having goat meat, for example, which is also popular in Senegal. I found that I love tasting new cuisines, no matter how 'unappetizing' it may look...it's a rush for me, and I enjoy it when a completely new flavor bombards my taste buds. I pity picky eaters.
4. Pictures I've seen, and Congolese weddings and parties have proven that Africa is a colorful place. The bright yellows, greens, blues and reds are astounding when they contrast African skin. If you find that comment racist - I don't care, it's my blog. They are comfortable, beautiful and eye-catching. I am definitely going to have some tailored for me.
5. African people themselves are warm, hospitable and generous. What I have learned in my African studies classes confirm this - and it's rooted in a long cultural history of interdependence and collective identity (a "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" scenario). This attitude is valued in societies where wealth is often hard to come by, and you succeed in life with the support of your friends. The American Dream of self-determinism, the "every man for himself," and the "I can do it by myself" attitude does not translate to most African culture. The idea of family, as well, does not exclude neighbors and friends...and they accept that people cannot 'do it alone.' Why would they? Life is much better lived with friends at your side.

I could be totally wrong in all I just mentioned. None of these points may apply to Senegal at all and I could be completely surprised. All I'm saying is after learning from my African friends over my years at U. of I. (from Kenya, Ethiopia, Ghana, Senegal, Cameroon and the DRC), these are my experiences and they help to shape a more multi-dimensional conception of Africa, than I otherwise would have. This way when I think of Africa I think color, life, warmth, hospitality, great music and rich history - instead of poverty, violence, war and animals at the zoo.

As I was saying before, I feel that while I'm in Senegal, I will act as an ambassador for the United States. I will represent this country, while also immersing myself in Senegalese society. I will be a quiet observer, while wholeheartedly participating in the culture that awaits me. I will try my hardest to get everything out of this experience as I can; take as many photos as I can without being an obnoxious tourist, write as I go, and speak to people - in Wolof, and French. And when the time is up, I hope I will have sufficient stuff up in my head to draw conclusions and learn from everything - enough to have more than one answer to that question when I return home, "Why would you want to go to Africa?"